Giving It Up

My daughter Abi turned thirteen recently and as headWe used to live in a farmhouse right in the middle of
of the family she thinks it's about time her parentsone of these estates. Pheasants were as common
became vegetarians. She has been a convert, withas pigeons and sparrows are in town. It was not at
occasional lapses, for around two years. I'm certainlyall unusual to see two or three elderly gents stroll
not against the idea. We hardly eat meat anyway;past our house, stepping stiff-legged over barbed
just the odd bacon sandwich and an extremely rarewire fences (ouch), with their broken shotguns
steak (rare in the numerical rather than the Frenchcradled over one arm and their labradors at heel.Now,
culinary sense), but it would be good to lose thatyou might think I'm out of sympathy with the hunting
feeling of guilt experienced when a cow looks at youfraternity, and you'd be right, up to a point, although
over the fence with those mournful eyes.Actually theit's true I did a lot of fishing in my early teens, and I
cow is not at all sad - it's probably wondering if youonce owned a beautiful .22 BSA air rifle with an oiled
are going to pass it some of that long green grassstock and a rifled barrel. I gave up fishing when I
on the other side of the fence, but the guilt is realdiscovered girls, and I exchanged the rifle for my
enough.Of course, not everybody feels that way. Infirst guitar and never looked back.As a young
another life I used to be a musician and I rememberteenager, part of my reading was about the safari
driving to a gig with a black American blues singerhunters of Africa and India, last of a dying breed.
called Johnnie Mars. I pointed out some ducks whichOne of the most interesting of these was Jim
were flying low over the band bus in formation.Corbett. He became well known as a writer and his
Johnnie looked up and said yep, he thought theybest book was probably 'The Man-Eaters of Kumaon'.
were mighty fine, and after a moment, 'EspeciallyHe had respect and even love for the man-eaters
with roast potatoes'.This was said without a trace ofthat he had to shoot. He was not just a hunter; he
irony. He told me later, with the same straight face,was also a naturalist and an early conservationalist,
that he was well known in East Poland and Latvia,who warned against 'the indiscriminate hunting of the
which reminded me irresistibly of Dorothy Parker's linetiger, which if not controlled would eventually deprive
about being famous in two continents - 'GreenlandIndia of the finest of her fauna'.About this time I
and Iceland'.Anyway, as I said, I'd like to become adiscovered two great American writers; Hemingway
vegetarian, but I think you have to pick the rightvia 'The Green Hills of Africa', written in 1933, and
time. It's like giving up smoking, something I finallyWilliam Faulkner through 'The Bear'. Written in 1942 as
managed to do ten years ago after many attempts.a long short story, 'The Bear' is Faulkner at his
One day, all the conditions were right and I stopped,prophetic best. It's about a group of men and boys
just like that.That's how I imagine it would be whenwho go on a hunting trip every year', and each time
giving up meat, although as far as I know, meat isthey have to drive further to find the wilderness as
not addictive. There'll be no retrievals of half usedthe Mississippi Delta shrinks. At the time the story
packs of bacon from the bin, or furtive trips to thewas written, conservation was not at all fashionable,
corner shop, ('Just going to take the dog around thenor was it twenty years later when I read it, but it
block, dear. Won't be long').These ruminations (isn'tmade me realize that there could be a link between
that what cows do? - Ed) were brought on by thehunting and conservation.I have no desire to hunt or
fact that we've recently moved house. We're nowshoot any animal, but I'm hardly in a position to
twelve miles further north and within sight of thecriticize anyone else while I still eat meat. The
Moray Firth. (In Scotland an estuary is called a firth,arguments in favour of hunting are not easy to
so for example we have the Firth of Forth - see?).refute. For instance, it's claimed that without
Anyway, in those few miles, we've moved out offoxhunting, farmers would quickly eradicate the fox
the Highlands and onto the coastal plain, which dropsand that in Scotland the Red deer population would
gently down to the sea, about six miles away, givingsoar without adequate control.Maybe, but I can't help
us a clear view of the few solitary cottages andthinking Oscar Wilde got it right when he wrote
farmhouses in the area, plus the remains of Duffusabout 'The unspeakable in pursuit of the uneatable'.
castle and the Lossiemouth lighthouse.All this is veryBesides, as a solution to the deer population problem,
different from the Highlands, with its hills and valleys,I'm for the re-introduction of the wolf, absent from
rough ravines and forests. Almost a differentthe Scottish Highlands since before Bonnie Prince
country, almost a different people. Before theCharlie went home to Italy. This is a serious and
Jacobite uprising in the 18th century and theconsidered proposition, now championed by the
subsequent destruction of the clan system, the 'wild,Green Party, and it feels right to me. It works in
wykked hieland men' used to swoop down onto theMontana - why not here in the Highlands? In the
coastal plain, steal all the cattle they could cope with,meantime, at least I've moved out of earshot of the
burn a few cottages and disappear back into theshotguns on the estate.James Donaldson CollinsJames
hills.Well, the clans are no longer a force, and insteadDonaldson Collins is an artist and writer. He lives in the
there are large shooting estates, sometimes ownedHighlands of Scotland with his wife, daughter and
by old established families and sometimes by wealthythree dogs. His interests are conservation, history,
newcomers. Clients pay the equivalent of the price ofscience fiction, chess and snooker. He also claims to
a good second hand car for a few days shooting.play guitar like a ringing a bell.