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Giving It Up

My daughter Abi turned thirteen recently to live in a farmhouse right in the
and as head of the family she thinks it's middle of one of these estates. Pheasants
about time her parents became were as common as pigeons and sparrows
vegetarians. She has been a convert, with are in town. It was not at all unusual to
occasional lapses, for around two years. see two or three elderly gents stroll
I'm certainly not against the idea. We past our house, stepping stiff-legged
hardly eat meat anyway; just the odd over barbed wire fences (ouch), with
bacon sandwich and an extremely rare their broken shotguns cradled over one
steak (rare in the numerical rather than arm and their labradors at heel.Now, you
the French culinary sense), but it would might think I'm out of sympathy with the
be good to lose that feeling of guilt hunting fraternity, and you'd be right,
experienced when a cow looks at you over up to a point, although it's true I did a
the fence with those mournful lot of fishing in my early teens, and I
eyes.Actually the cow is not at all sad - once owned a beautiful .22 BSA air rifle
it's probably wondering if you are going with an oiled stock and a rifled barrel.
to pass it some of that long green grass I gave up fishing when I discovered
on the other side of the fence, but the girls, and I exchanged the rifle for my
guilt is real enough.Of course, not first guitar and never looked back.As a
everybody feels that way. In another life young teenager, part of my reading was
I used to be a musician and I remember about the safari hunters of Africa and
driving to a gig with a black American India, last of a dying breed. One of the
blues singer called Johnnie Mars. I most interesting of these was Jim
pointed out some ducks which were flying Corbett. He became well known as a writer
low over the band bus in formation. and his best book was probably 'The
Johnnie looked up and said yep, he Man-Eaters of Kumaon'. He had respect and
thought they were mighty fine, and after even love for the man-eaters that he had
a moment, 'Especially with roast to shoot. He was not just a hunter; he
potatoes'.This was said without a trace was also a naturalist and an early
of irony. He told me later, with the same conservationalist, who warned against
straight face, that he was well known in 'the indiscriminate hunting of the tiger,
East Poland and Latvia, which reminded me which if not controlled would eventually
irresistibly of Dorothy Parker's line deprive India of the finest of her
about being famous in two continents - fauna'.About this time I discovered two
'Greenland and Iceland'.Anyway, as I great American writers; Hemingway via
said, I'd like to become a vegetarian, 'The Green Hills of Africa', written in
but I think you have to pick the right 1933, and William Faulkner through 'The
time. It's like giving up smoking, Bear'. Written in 1942 as a long short
something I finally managed to do ten story, 'The Bear' is Faulkner at his
years ago after many attempts. One day, prophetic best. It's about a group of men
all the conditions were right and I and boys who go on a hunting trip every
stopped, just like that.That's how I year', and each time they have to drive
imagine it would be when giving up meat, further to find the wilderness as the
although as far as I know, meat is not Mississippi Delta shrinks. At the time
addictive. There'll be no retrievals of the story was written, conservation was
half used packs of bacon from the bin, or not at all fashionable, nor was it twenty
furtive trips to the corner shop, ('Just years later when I read it, but it made
going to take the dog around the block, me realize that there could be a link
dear. Won't be long').These ruminations between hunting and conservation.I have
(isn't that what cows do? - Ed) were no desire to hunt or shoot any animal,
brought on by the fact that we've but I'm hardly in a position to criticize
recently moved house. We're now twelve anyone else while I still eat meat. The
miles further north and within sight of arguments in favour of hunting are not
the Moray Firth. (In Scotland an estuary easy to refute. For instance, it's
is called a firth, so for example we have claimed that without foxhunting, farmers
the Firth of Forth - see?). Anyway, in would quickly eradicate the fox and that
those few miles, we've moved out of the in Scotland the Red deer population would
Highlands and onto the coastal plain, soar without adequate control.Maybe, but
which drops gently down to the sea, about I can't help thinking Oscar Wilde got it
six miles away, giving us a clear view of right when he wrote about 'The
the few solitary cottages and farmhouses unspeakable in pursuit of the uneatable'.
in the area, plus the remains of Duffus Besides, as a solution to the deer
castle and the Lossiemouth lighthouse.All population problem, I'm for the
this is very different from the re-introduction of the wolf, absent from
Highlands, with its hills and valleys, the Scottish Highlands since before
rough ravines and forests. Almost a Bonnie Prince Charlie went home to Italy.
different country, almost a different This is a serious and considered
people. Before the Jacobite uprising in proposition, now championed by the Green
the 18th century and the subsequent Party, and it feels right to me. It works
destruction of the clan system, the in Montana - why not here in the
'wild, wykked hieland men' used to swoop Highlands? In the meantime, at least I've
down onto the coastal plain, steal all moved out of earshot of the shotguns on
the cattle they could cope with, burn a the estate.James Donaldson CollinsJames
few cottages and disappear back into the Donaldson Collins is an artist and
hills.Well, the clans are no longer a writer. He lives in the Highlands of
force, and instead there are large Scotland with his wife, daughter and
shooting estates, sometimes owned by old three dogs. His interests are
established families and sometimes by conservation, history, science fiction,
wealthy newcomers. Clients pay the chess and snooker. He also claims to play
equivalent of the price of a good second guitar like a ringing a bell.
hand car for a few days shooting. We used




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